Diaries of a Twenty-Six-Year Old Girl

In trying to disappear, I only stood out more.

When I was a little girl I stood out like a sore thumb. But not in the way that an average person would see and say … “Huh, I really like her she’s really cool. “

No, I was a social outcast, with crooked teeth and glasses… and I never brushed my hair.

I look back at that girl and smile, sometimes with tears in my eyes because she was so brave for standing out the way she did.

I acted so different because I wanted nothing more than to disappear. I prayed teachers would never call on me, and hoped kids would never bat an eye. But in acting so strange, I obviously drew attention.

The irony.

As an adult, I’ve realized we spent years trying to blend in and we never really did. Not in a cocky way.

Just naturally.

In a world built on validation, it’s important to be the person you like best.

And I want to look back at my younger self and tell her she was so cool for being the social outcast.

I remember dating a Mr. Narcissist who once complained while scrolling through TikTok. “I miss when there were fun trends to follow,” he said. “Now there’s just trash.”

I looked up at him and replied, “Why don’t you start your own trend? Become a trendsetter instead of a follower.”

He did not find me funny. (lol)

In all seriousness I do think it’s important to deviate from the norm, you can sit in embarrassment for five minutes while your post blows up, or your favorite author comments on your short story.

Embarrassment is nothing more than a feeling but regret lasts a lifetime.